In the midst of writing my thesis, I have found out some pretty interesting things that I have long believed, but finally have research to back.
One of these things is that it matters to matter.
Mattering refers to the extent to which we feel as though we make a difference to the world around us. What makes us feel as though we matter is others attending to us (awareness), investing in us (importance) or looking to them for help (reliance)1. Amongst the many benefits of mattering, feeling as though you matter can lower depression and increase self esteem2. It can also
I’m going to be completely honest and tell you that I have been feeling like I have been on the bottom of a lot of people’s priority lists at the moment. Although I have been trying to remind myself not to take it personally, it hasn’t stopped my confidence from being a little shaken by the delay (or lack of) responses to emails, friends cancelling (or not wanting to make set plans in case they get a better offer), and frustrating responses when actually seeking help.
If being passionate about the power of perception has taught me one thing, it’s that those negative feelings start with me. Sure, people have been busy. And it is slightly painful that I have had to follow so many people and general things up. But that does not mean that I don’t matter. Even though I might not feel as though I matter in that particular area, when I look at the big picture, it does not take me long to remember just how much I actually do.
Today, I want to remind you that you matter. Just by being alive you are changing the world. And you are so valuable.
There is something unique about you that absolutely no one else in the world can give. You don’t need to be perfect. You are allowed to fail at things; in fact, some failures need to be celebrated for the reason that they show that you tried!
A mentor of mine once told me that his secret to being successful in business is making people feel loved. Because that is all most of us want. Everybody has self-doubts and fears of belonging. But I believe if you drown out the volume of your inner critic with reminders of your worth, you will find there will be massive differences in your life.
Because, trust me, you matter to someone.
After all, you’re reading this – so you definitely matter to me.